My Glamorous Invalid Wish List

Okay, so I don’t actually think “invalid” is a great word to apply to people…but it certainly sounds melodramatic and old-fashioned.

Over the summer, I’ve had a rise in the interference that fibromyalgia can cause in my life. Namely, two parts fatigue, plus one part pain, shaken up with my expectations to be fully functioning has created a sort of bitter cocktail. I’ve been mad about it. I’m working with my doctor, and we’re on a good path, it’s just annoying.

Granted, this is the best time in history to have any kind of sickness. I would be dead several times over 150 years ago. I probably wouldn’t have made it through my breech birth, then the chicken pox at 3 or any number of upper respiratory infections throughout childhood would probably have killed me. But, no doubt, had I made it to adulthood in the 19th century, I would have had “a delicate constitution” or “the vapours” or, probably, just “weakness.” Hopefully, I’d have been rich enough to stay inside and embroider things.

Most of the time, I don’t feel too terrible. I’ve had this condition for a long time, and I usually know what to do to mitigate it. Still, I feel a little pitiful, and not like the powerful and vibrant person I actually am, when I have to take a nap everyday to be a human.

Disclaimer 1: I still don’t have anything like the full body pain that lots of people experience, and I’m not complaining. I am a lucky, lucky duck, and I cannot emphasize that enough.

Disclaimer 2: There are so many worse things that could happen to me than having to take a lot of naps.

I’ve decided that if I have to spend more time in bed than I really desire, I should at least get to be a starlet of chronic illness. Here is my list of things I want to increase the glamour of this whole experience:

  1. Bed Jackets–If I have to sit around a lot, I do not see the harm in looking like Jean Harlow while I do it.
    Admittedly, this is more than a bed jacket.
    Admittedly, this is more than a bed jacket.

    This knit bed jacket looks very comfy and cute. Of course,  anything made of blush colored satin would probably do the trick.

    BedJacket3
    I’m adding the tea tray to my list.
  2. A Fainting Couch– See, I would feel much less like I’ve given up if I were napping on a couch in my living room, rather than in bed proper.
    The caption says, "The Greeks had a word for them." And I think that word was probably "Sapphic."
    The caption says, “The Greeks had a word for them.” And I think that word was probably “Sapphic.”

    Unfortunately, our tiny love seat does not allow for a good sprawl. A Victorian fainting couch would be much more stylish.

    So comfy!
    So comfy!
  3. A Claw Foot Bathtub–I am very pleased that our apartment has a bath tub at all–many don’t, but a deep claw foot tub would be much more romantic for soaking in. For this fantasy, I’ll pretend I can successfully spend more than 10 minutes in the bath. In reality, I get bored very quickly, and can’t make myself stay in there.

    She has a bouquet on the side of her bath tub. She knows how to live.
    She has a bouquet on the side of her bath tub. She knows how to live.

Other potential items for this list include: an improbably small dog (to hang out with), a sugar daddy (to pay for my health insurance), an entire wardrobe of silk pajamas, and central air.

2 thoughts on “My Glamorous Invalid Wish List

  1. Oh! I never knew you were dealing with this. I would have never guessed since you are always so smiley and charming at potlucks 🙂

    So glad to see your sense of humor is not hurting. I hope you do get a bed jacket and tea tray! Maybe a little silver bell too?

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